Everyone is talking about Selma Blair at the Oscars.
Everyone.
A woman walked down the red carpet, looking like a majestic goddess, with a cane in her hand and it's made worldwide headlines. I can't tell you how happy and disappointed this makes me all rolled into one.
Happy because two amazing, strong women with disabling illnesses were at the Oscars - one of them even won an Oscar! Yet, disappointed that this happens so rarely that it's made worldwide headlines.
1 in 5 people in Australia have a disability, so why is it such a big deal to see it on the telly? It should be commonplace. Representation of people with disabilities - both visible and invisible, is woefully inadequate. So inadequate that, as someone who has been diagnosed with two invisible illnesses that are disabling at times, I burst into tears to see Lady Gaga win an Oscar, and again at the photos of Selma Blair walking the red carpet.
Why? Because it's the first time since my diagnosis in 2011 that I have seen a disabled celebrity other than Selena Gomez win an award of this calibre, or walk down the red carpet looking disabled.
Picture from here
I was a couple of weeks shy of 18 when I got diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and Fibromyalgia (which Lady Gaga has too), and at the time I was a very sick person. Getting that diagnosis felt like my whole world was crumbling around me. I felt that I would never be able to work full time, never be able to have a family, never be able to even enjoy nights out with friends again. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 12 months later, feeling isolated and unseen because of my illness. There was a time when I seriously considered getting a cane, and had my pride not won out, I would have had a much easier time getting around with one when I was at my sickest. To this day, I struggle to accept my illness, I struggle with my mental health in association with my illness, and my ideas of success are all wrapped up in a standard set by able-bodied people, which often feels unattainable for me. To see people like me on the TV, doing amazing things - living out their dreams! It gives me hope. It makes me feel seen.
I don't think that it should be such a big deal that people like me are at the Oscars. Maybe if I had seen someone walk down the red carpet with a cane that wasn't being used as as a quirky accessory 8 years ago, I would have got one for myself, used it and had better mental health from getting out of the house more. But I don't want to see headlines proclaiming how inspirational Selma Blair is, or putting her on a pedestal. I just want to see the 1 in 5 disabled people in the world represented on our TVs so often that it is normalised, and young women being diagnosed with disabilities or invisible illnesses won't have to feel as alone, afraid and ashamed as I did when I was diagnosed - with or without need of a mobility aid.
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